They say if you put the energy out there it will come back to you so I'm going to try, key word try, but really try, to send out positive energy, work energy, and prosperity. I want to truly start my career. I am not a bartender, I am not a waitress, and I am not supposed to be making such little money. I am worth more than this. I want more than this. I can do more than this!
I need to get off the couch.
I want to be inspired.
I want to work more!
I want to photograph everything. And I can.
More head shots, pictures of food, interiors, exteriors, bottles, ornaments, fashion spreads. I want to shoot more!
And the concerts.
I should see what needs to be done about getting a press pass for venues. Len will know.
I need to move, to have a real home, and to not cringe every time I need to leave the house, or come home. It's too far away and it's disgusting, both in and out side. I'm sick of this area and this management. I need people who give a shit in my general vicinity.
So, if I want all of this so badly, why can't I get up and do it. What's stopping me?! Other than the obvious,
FEAR.
What am I so scared of? I've made mistakes before and I will make many in the future. People are going to say no, a lot, but there will be the ones that say yes. If I don't ask, they'll never get a chance to say either. Why have I taken as long as humanly possible to write a resume? Just write it, proof it and print it already.
That's it, no more excuses. I'm better than this. I took some time and now, as it's been plenty if not too much time, I need to get back into it. All of it.
Wedding, Job, Apartment, Family, Portfolio, Yoga, and time with the dog even. I could be writing and painting and singing and exercising!
I've got a TAG SALE to get ready for, and plenty of photo shoots to do or work on.
Tomorrow is take care of bills day. Sunday is work. Monday is get your shit together day!!!!
DAMN IT!
Meet with Abby, and Will and talk to Len and Algis and Stephen.
Email all the people who need your help and set a day and time to work.
Have Sen cook something amazing to photograph, by a nice bottle of something and photograph it before you drink it. Come up with some funky ideas and shoot em! Go back to old ideas. Pick it back up and dust it off and get a move on!
Get a working camera!
Maybe that can be tomorrow. All you really need is a lens.
I am going to get something done tomorrow. I don't care how scared I am. Just one thing. And then one more thing the next day. Figure it out. I can do this. I will do this!
God, I sound like a self-help audio book.
"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me."
Well they do, for the most part.
Okay, now that I'm all worked up, let's try to go to bed. This should be fun.
COME AND GET ME POSITIVE ENERGY!!!!!!
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