So, maybe everyone doesn't understand what it means when I say that I have no choice but to cry sometimes. It's an interesting feeling when the chemicals in your body make things happen without your consent. Especially when it's crying. Always fun to start crying for no reason in front of people that you weren't planning on sharing with.
Luckily for me, I'm pretty open so I can get over it most times, but it's still annoying over all.
I'm supposed to pick up my husband in a few and meet with some friends in public, drink and hang out for a it. No problem, except I am losing it a bit.
All I know is that all of a sudden I've decided to have a baby and I don't know why! That's how bad it is and yet, I will be smoking and drinking this evening anyway. More if anything due to the stress of the idea.
It's a fucking scary idea but one that apparently works out better with less thought. The more you think about it, the scarier it gets and then it becomes a thing as a pose to, "oh, hey, we're doing this! Sweet"
Well, anywho, having a baby shouldn't be dwelled upon and females with chemical imbalances happen and that seems to be my point here.
Damn it, i am going to have to stop smoking and drinking! Well, not tonight at least. And life is still fun without that shit, right?
Ah, fuck, all I know is that I want to smoke one more and if I don't I have more of a chance of getting lucky. That's when you know it's an addiction. When you might choose it over sex. That is a problem.
Rar!
and good night.
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