I'm not sure I can handle this. You know, the whole "put yourself forward and work really hard and get a job in the field you love and make it" thing. It's scary. Really scary. I can barely get the things on my "to do "list done and that's simple shit, groceries, laundry, put a shelf up. Do you know how long it took me to put that shelf up? Like 3 months!!
Okay, seriously, is this interesting enough to put out there. Does anyone really want to hear how scared I am even though I'm doing it and I'll be fine and it's not a big deal? Or it is a big deal and I'm too scared to admit to it? I don't know, this whole writing to anonymous people thing is great, but I don't want to be another stupid blog site.
One more cigarette, that means I had eight today. It could stay at seven, but I'm a little stressed and I'm not tired yet. Both horrible excuses to smoke and yet here I am...
So, it's snowing, a lot. I like the snow. It's comforting almost. I don't have any specific plans tomorrow so I should be able to enjoy it. I want to take Tuesday to the park in this. (Tuesday is the dog for those of you at home) (Oh, and a super cute one at that) Get to the grocery store, and buy a pair of black pants. Obviously not at the grocery store, I have a different list for that.
Don't get me wrong, I am happy and excited and enjoying the new semester and going to start a new job and see more art on Thursday and met back up with an old friend and realized I will be fine, eventually, even if he never calls me again. But part of me still suffers in a way. Depression is funny that way. Not so much Funny, Ha Ha, but more like huh. It just makes things feel weird makes you feel weird. I need to get over this shit, seriously. For serious!!!
Okay, not the best post ever, but there it is and I can't keep going cause my battery is almost dead and I'm too lazy to get the cord. Whatever, I'm too hard on myself all the time anyway.
Please keep giving me topics people. I like to write about things and see where it ends up. Any suggestions?
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